Wedding Memory: The Boutonniere


Boutonniere

Photo by Eva Russo.

Jami really wanted a boutonniere for the wedding. I called a florist near the Inn a few weeks before the wedding, but they said I didn’t need to order in advance. They were open on Saturdays and would be able to make up one boutonniere in just a few minutes. So after breakfast I decided to walk over  the block and a half and get the boutonniere made up. My dad and uncle saw me leaving and asked if I wanted company. Sure, I said.

I was very worried leading up to our wedding that I would find the day stressful (and that the stress would lead to bickering.) While I have no doubt that stress and even bickering are normal things on a wedding day, I am happy to report that for all my worries, I found the day calm, even relaxing – starting with this fun little wander down the road with two of my favorite men and a whole city full of pink-clad breast cancer walkers. Thanks, Jami, for giving me an excuse to do just that.

Advertisements
Wedding Memory: The Boutonniere

Wedding Memory: Something Blue

Photo by Eva Russo.

To the extent that our wedding had “colors”, the color was blue. When our wedding party folks asked us what to wear, we said “something blue”, which seemed like an easy color for folks to find something they liked in. I’m not a big shoe person, but once we made that decision, I decided that I wanted to wear blue shoes, which were harder to find than I thought they would be. These are from Rockport, so they are quite comfy and they are the most expensive shoes I’ve ever purchased. If you are going to wear a short wedding dress though, I think a little shoe splurge is called for!

Wedding Memory: Something Blue

Wedding Memory: Something Borrowed

Photo by Eva Russo

I was all set with my something old, something new, and something blue items, but an hour before my wedding I didn’t have anything borrowed. I wasn’t really worried about this (I didn’t set out to have all four, it’s just one of those sayings that pops into your mind on your wedding day). But when I mentioned this to my two wedding party people, who were hanging out with me before the wedding (the most crucial of all wedding responsibilities. That day is exciting, but nervewracking, it’s nice to have friends around), Jodi immediately took off her bracelet and said, do you want to borrow Nana Bossio’s bracelet? I did, of course. And that’s how I ended up with something borrowed. It’s wonderful how things sometimes just fall into place.

Wedding Memory: Something Borrowed

Marriage Equality: A Rant

Dear Well-Meaning, Soon-to-be-ex-coworker of Jami’s,

I know that you are a well-intentioned, liberal lady who is all for the homos, so I want to give you a little piece of friendly advice. Do not ask your soon-to-be-ex-coworker if her new employer will “recognize” her marriage.  It’s a shitty thing to ask, and here’s why…

Your soon-to-be-ex-coworker (ie, my wife) is legally married in the District of Columbia. I’m sure that you know this because it would have been hard to miss the hullabaloo when it became legal earlier this year. This means that my marriage is a legal marriage and that it is EXACTLY the same as every other legal marriage in the District of Columbia. This is the beauty of marriage equality. This is exactly why marriage equality is so important. Because suddenly relationships between two consenting adults, any two consenting adults, who choose to marry are treated the exactly the same. If your DC employer will pay for the health care of the opposite-sex spouses of their employees, for example, they will also now be paying for the health care of the same-sex spouses of their employees. This is why Catholic Charities is no longer covering spouses on their health care plans.

DC’s move to marriage equality wasn’t an empty gesture, it was a very real, legal, serious thing. And by asking if my marriage is “recognized”, you are saying it is different. You are the ONLY person who is saying that it’s different. Which I am sure is not what your well-meaning, liberal self intended. My best advice? If you believe in marriage equality, recognize all marriages as equal. Practice what you preach. And if there is some way in which my marriage is not equal (there is still that pesky little matter of the federal government), and it’s something that I want to talk you about, I will bring it up. Because if you bring it up, especially if you imply that my marriage isn’t recognized, it’s just going to make me feel like you see my marriage as “less than”, which I most certainly do not and at which I will probably take offense.

I know the question was not meant in the manner in which it was received, and living in a glass house, I have no wish to throw stones. I’m sure, as a well-meaning, liberal white lady myself, I have made my share of well-intentioned, but not-so-appropriate remarks. So please just think about what I said, and the next time you are faced with a coworker or casual acquaintance who is married to someone of the same sex, don’t focus on the differences that you may see between their marriage and other marriages, focus on what is the same – or just don’t focus on their marriage at all. Thanks!

Carrie

Marriage Equality: A Rant

Wedding Memory: Something Old

Photo by Eva Russo.

For my “something old” I wore this necklace of my mother’s. She had given it me over the Christmas holidays with the thought that maybe I would wear it at our wedding, which I was thrilled to do. It was an anniversary present from my dad to my mom. She couldn’t remember for which anniversary, she thought maybe 30th. My parents have been married for 43 (!) years, and to wear something that was a token of that relationship seemed like a little good luck for our wedding day. I’m looking forward to having spent that much of my life with Jami.

Wedding Memory: Something Old

Wedding Memory: The Heat

Photo by Eva Russo of photo lady love.

We got married May 1st. A day specifically chosen because the weather in DC is pleasant in the spring – there’s lots of blooming going on and it is not too hot. Usually. May 1, 2010 was a beautiful day in DC, sunny and bright, but it was definitely hot – in the low 90s, and our guests (especially those from Maine) were feeling it. One of the side effects of the heat was that Jami’s hand swelled slightly – just enough to make it a bit of a push to get the ring on. Here she is, with her hand in the ice bucket, trying to cool her hand down so that it will shrink and let the ring on easily. When the time came, the ring went on. Not without a little resistance, but on all the same, which is all that matters.

Wedding Memory: The Heat